


A Heartbeat or A Family

by Dragon_With_Problems



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Pining Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:08:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21855802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_With_Problems/pseuds/Dragon_With_Problems
Summary: Roman and Remus are twins. They were adopted by their very christian parents who have always had extremely high expectations for the boys. They favor Roman much more than Remus leading to a divide between the two. Despite this, the boys still have the same friend group. Remus comes out as gay which only upsets their parents more. This coming out also leads to Roman questioning his own sexuality. He fights with either following his heart, or his parents.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 106
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	A Heartbeat or A Family

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emo-Prince-Charming](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Emo-Prince-Charming).



> Hi! This is my first Sanders Sides fic so I really hope it turned out alright! This was beta read by Piningpebbles they are a life saver! I'm so glad that you're reading this, please enjoy! ^^

Walking through the front gates of the school felt the same way it did any other day to Roman. This was just another day of school. 

Roman walked in with his brother Remus. They were twins, same grade, same friends.

"So I was talking to Logan yesterday, and he says that humans have the power to bite through someone else's finger! Our brains just tell us we can't! And I was like, 'well now that you told me that do ya think I could bite someone's finger off?' And he said 'highly improbable' so of course I had to test that and so.." Roman listened as Remus rambled on about a conversation he had with Logan. Remus had recently come out as gay and Roman suspected that Remus had some sort of crush on Logan. The idea disgusted Roman (or so he told himself). 

Roman had the same ideologies of his parents. They were wealthy Christians who thought of nothing but themselves. Perhaps their children crossed their minds every now and again. 

Roman knew he was the "Golden Child". He knew that the closest his parents were going to get to their “ideal child” was him. Roman wasn't what they wanted of course, but a close second. Roman saw it this way, their perfect child was a princess trapped in a tower somewhere and it was Roman's job to keep climbing that tower until he got to save the princess. Roman would just have to keep pretending that the tower wasn't forever growing taller.

"Hey Roman!!" A voice behind Roman called just as he arrived at his locker. It was Patton, Roman's best friend.

"Handshake!" Roman called after swinging open his locker, Remus doing the same next to him.

Roman and Patton began to greet each other with an 'extravagant display of over exaggerated hand and body movements' as Logan would have said had he been with them at the time.

Remus rolled his eyes and began to walk towards the library. Roman and Patton trailed behind him chitchatting like old ladies at a tea party. Their group of friends always met in the library. Logan was always first somehow, followed by Dee and Virgil who carpooled, then the twins and Patton. Sometimes, Patton beat the twins, but more often than not they stuck together.

The boys walked into the library heading for their usual table by the fantasy section, much to Logan’s dismay. Speaking of Logan, he was hunched over concentrated on his homework. He had taken some very advanced classes this year and was slightly overwhelmed with the homework, though he would never admit it.  


“Fuck you!” Virgil yelled at Dee; they were in a very heated card game and Virgil was losing miserably. The outburst got them a dirty look from the librarian.

“What ya got there?” Remus asked sitting down and poking Logan. 

“Homework,” Logan said, waving a hand to ward off Remus.

“For what?” Remus pressed.

“Biology.”

“Oof! AP biology’s rough!” Patton added.

“You’re telling me. You don’t even take AP biology Pat,” Roman said. “Why didn’t you do the homework last night Lo?”

“Some weirdo was texting me all night,” Logan said not looking up from his reading. Remus stuck his tongue out but Logan couldn’t see.

An exclamation of victory came from Dee along with a grumble from Virgil as they finished their game. 

“Rematch!” Virgil declared staring Dee down. He held the cards in his hand as if daring Dee to agree.

“What’re you guys playin’?” Remus asked looking away from Logan for a moment.

“E.R.S.” Dee said, now in a staring contest with Virgil.

“Ooh, deal me in!” Roman said.

“I don’t think there is enough time for you guys to play again,” Logan warned.

“Ugh. I’ll get you tomorrow Dee!” Virgil swore.

“You wish.”

With that, the bell rang and the six parted ways to head to their classes. Roman was heading to his Honors English class where the class was reenacting Romeo and Juliet. Roman loved it- despite what some of the kids in his class may think- and was always excited to read through it. 

English always ended sooner than Roman would have liked. Roman headed to AP Biology catching up with Logan along the way. 

“That crazy brother of yours keeps texting me during class,” Logan complained as they walked into their class.

“I figured you’d be the type to keep your phone off during the school day,” Roman said.

“I used to, but Remus would just blow up my phone anyway and it would malfunction when I turned it back on.”

“Do you mute it?”

“Yes, but Remus keeps unmuting it.”

“Why are you letting him on your phone?”

Logan shrugged as the bell rang. Roman rolled his eyes thinking of his brother being an idiot and got out his things for class.

The next few hours went by in a blur. Before Roman knew it, it was lunch. The thing about lunch was, their group was split up. Dee, Remus, Logan, and Patton all had lunch before fourth hour, while Roman and Virgil had lunch after.

“How’re your classes?” Virgil asked unpacking his lunch.

“Meh. How ‘bout you?” Roman responded.

“Meh.” This was followed by a moment of silence while the two searched for something to say.

Truth be told, Roman really liked Virgil (not like that of course), but he didn’t really know him well. Roman wanted to be friends with Virgil badly, that’s why he was always nervous around him. Roman didn’t want to mess up a potential friendship with Virgil, that was all.

“So, Remus huh?” Virgil tried.

“Oh god. He’s something isn’t he?” Roman laughed.

“He sure talks about Logan a lot doesn’t he?”

“Well they’re kinda close.”

“Didn’t Remus come out recently? Ya think he likes Logan?”

“Something like that,” Roman muttered. 

“You good?” Virgil poked Roman’s arm.

Virgil’s hands were cold, but they made Roman’s face warm. Something strange was going on for sure. Was Roman getting sick?

Roman assured Virgil he was fine and continued talking to him about some crazy things Remus had done, but he couldn’t shake away this feeling. 

Roman hadn’t felt like this around a person before. Maybe Virgil was just really cool. Hearing Virgil laugh though… Roman wasn’t sure he could keep lying to himself. On one hand, there’s no way Roman’s got any sort of romantic feeling towards Virgil, that would make Roman gay and gay is bad. On the other hand, every little thing Virgil did made Roman feel fuzzy. Roman was always thinking about Virgil. Liking Virgil is crazy though, that’s just not Roman. Remus was gay and if Remus does something that almost always means Roman shouldn’t so that was that. There’s no way he could possibly have any sort of romantic feelings towards any guy. Virgil’s smirk though, and that laugh. Those eyes and black nails. No, no, no! This-

Roman’s thoughts were cut off by the bell ending lunch. A quick goodbye and they parted ways. Roman continued his day pretending not a single strange thought had crossed his mind during lunch. Not a single thing about Virgil.

Roman met with Remus at their school’s entrance. A crazy smile danced across Remus’s face.

“What’s got you so excited?” Roman began walking towards the twins’s car and gestured for Remus to follow.

“Just somethin’ Logan was saying in fourth hour,” Remus brushed off racing ahead of Roman to the car. “I’ll drive!”

“Mom and Dad don’t want _you_ to drive.”

“But I have a licence?!”

“But they trust me more. Get in.” Remus groaned and hopped in shotgun, playing around with the music. It wasn’t long until the boys arrived home.

They lived on that cliché white suburban street. Their house was well taken care of and full of expensive things their parents wouldn’t let them touch. That was just the way their parents were. All show and nothing more.

“We’re home!” Roman called entering the house. He hung up his keys and poked his head in the living room looking for his parents. Remus headed upstairs to toss his bag in his room.

“Hey sweetheart,” Roman’s mom planted a kiss on his forehead. “How was your day?”

“Okay, but I gotta go do some homework,” Roman said turning towards the stairs.  


“Be ready by dinner honey!” His mom called after him as he darted upstairs.

Remus was waiting at the top of the stairs. He gave Roman a suspicious look then rolled his eyes and went to his room.  


“What?” Roman banged on Remus’s door.

“Nothin’, do that ‘homework’,” Remus replied from through the door.

“Whatever,” Roman muttered heading to his room. He was surprised how quickly Remus had called his bluff. In reality, Roman didn’t have much homework at all, he just needed to clear his head. That’s what he kept insisting anyway, he didn’t really want to admit that he was avoiding his parents. Ever since Remus had come out they had been worse. Not that they were bad of course, they were just a little different. More passive aggressive that was all.

A small buzz came from Roman’s pocket. It was a quick text from Patton to their group chat. Something about plans for Saturday. Roman quickly texted that he would ask his parents and collapsed on his bed.

What was lunch today? Roman closed his eyes and sighed. He knew he had a crush on Virgil, or he thought he might. Maybe he was making this up? Virgil was a guy… Was something wrong with Roman? What was even going on?

His phone buzzed again. Virgil!? It was just Logan replying to Patton. Why would it be Virgil? Oh gosh. This couldn’t be happening to him! Roman thought he must be going crazy.

Roman pulled out his laptop and decided to play some dumb online games to get his mind off things.

“Dinner!” His father called from downstairs.

He put away his laptop and left his room. Remus also left consecutively almost hitting Roman in the face with his door. Roman rolled his eyes and walked down to dinner, with Remus trailing behind him.

“It looks lovely,” Roman said sitting at the table, his brother sitting next to him.

“Yes of course,” His mother said.

The family said a quick blessing on their food and began to eat. Their parents eyed Remus suspiciously as if waiting for him to mess up so they could say something about it. 

“So, what did you boys do today?” Their father finally asked growing tired of he and his wife’s little game.

“I keep trying to get Logan, but he’s clueless really,” Remus tore into some mashed potatoes ignoring the looks of horror from his parents.

“‘Get Logan’, what on Earth do you mean child!?” Their mother demanded setting down her fork to stare at Remus. He ignored her.

“Oh, ya know, make him like me? As in a couple thingy, an item if you will,” Remus continued to ignore the looks from his parents. Roman looked down at his lap, preparing for the oncoming battle.

“Young man-” Their father began.

“Am I dismissed?! Great!” A genuine smile crossed Remus lips as he stood up and started to walk towards the stairs. Before Remus reached the stairs, he turned around and smirked. “I think I’ll go text _Logan.”_

“That boy..” His mother growled. “I should never have let that lady convince me to keep both of the twins. We’d all be better off without him. Right Roman dear?” 

Roman nodded in agreement. He might of disagreed if he wasn’t feeling so trapped in this situation.

“You’re right dear. When we said we only wanted to adopt one kid we should have stuck with our guts. We knew he was trouble from the start,” Roman’s father agreed. “Gay? That kid is disgusting!”

“Yeah..” Roman muttered. They’re right, it is disgusting. _You’re disgusting_ . Roman closed his eyes for a moment. All he could see was Virgil. _Get out of my head_ Roman pleaded to no one in particular. What did Roman do to deserve this?

“You okay there kid?” His father asked.

“I’m just not very hungry, I’m gonna head upstairs,” Before they could insist he stay, he ran off. Roman curled up in his bed. He laid there for a while, occasionally glancing at his phone, he sometimes contemplated visiting Remus, but instead he just laid there. Roman tried to convince himself to at least do something, but he just fell asleep.

Roman woke up the next day earlier than usual. He got dressed and packed him and Remus’s lunches. Roman walked over to Remus’s door.

“Get up Remus, we’re leaving ‘fore Mom and Dad get up,” He said opening the door.

Remus grumbled something and waved Roman away. Roman rolled his eyes and sat on the couch downstairs. He kept a watchful eye on the clock praying Remus would get ready in time.

“Let’s go,” Remus stood at the door twirling the keys on his finger. Roman didn’t have the energy to fight him this morning, so Remus drove.

The twins got to school much earlier than usual. They headed to the library, but it wasn’t open yet, so Remus suggested that they should just wait outside until it did open.

“So, you mad at me or the parents after last night?” Remus nonchalantly popped some sour candy in his mouth.

“I dunno anymore,” Roman was sliding down to the floor.

“I’m willing to bet you’re mad at Mom and Dad.”

“Maybe.”

“What are the two of you doing here so early? You don’t ever arrive before seven,” Logan said approaching them.

“Rough night,” Roman muttered.

“I wish!” Remus laughed wiggling his eyebrows and eyeing Logan.

“Ignore him,” Roman said.

The library then opened and the trio headed in. Once again they sat at their table, which was usually by the fantasy section, however this time there was something off. The LGBTQ+ section had been moved closer to their table. Roman pretended not to notice and sat down across from Remus. 

“Three of you?” Dee asked sliding in next to Remus, Virgil across from him.

“The twins had some trouble last night I think,” Logan told them adjusting his glasses.

“It’s fine,” Roman muttered.

“What do ya’ mean ‘trouble’?” Virgil asked next to Roman sending shivers up his back.

“Nothing, really,” Roman insisted.

“Hey guys,” The small voice of Patton came from behind Roman. This time though, Patton seemed a little off, kind of sad. “Listen-”

“Is something wrong Pat?” Roman asked as Patton sat down next to him.  


“Not really, I hope not anyway..”  


“Pat?” Logan asked.

“Listen, okay?” Patton took a deep breath. “I think I’m gay? Like, I like guys? ‘Cause, I dunno know, they’re cute? I just, I don’t wanna like disappoint- are you guys okay with- I mean I can leave-”

“Patton,” Dee interrupted Patton’s rant. “It’s okay. Something like that doesn’t matter, or at least it shouldn’t.”

“Dee is right Pat, Remus is gay, we didn’t exclude him because of it, i’m gay you guys don’t-” Logan began to assure him.

“Wait, wait, wait, you’re gay? Since when?” Virgil butted in.

“Since forever Virgil, I thought you guys knew by now,” Logan stated.

“How? You never said anything?” Virgil asked.

Logan shrugged and the group fell into a small silence quickly interrupted by Virgil, “So, you’re all gay right?” The three boys nodded. Virgil let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God! Me too.”

“If we’re all confessing right now I might as well say that I am also gay,” Dee sighed.

“That really went better than I thought it would,” Patton laughed.

The bell rang and Roman hurried out of the library. We’re all gay? No. no, _they’re_ all gay. Roman certainly doesn’t fit in with all that. Virgil. In his hurry to leave that situation Roman had completely missed the fact that Virgil was gay. No! That doesn’t matter. Roman didn’t care about that. 

Roman avoided Logan on their walk to second hour and tried not to look at him during class. At lunch Roman tried to focus on just eating, but he kept looking up at Virgil who was giving him weird looks. 

“Listen, Ro-” The bell rang and Roman got up to leave, he turned around for a moment and met Virgil’s eyes. Virgil gave a bittersweet smile, looked down, and left.

Roman beat himself up the rest of the day over that. Why did he do that? It was so cruel. Virgil didn't deserve that. He probably thought Roman hated him because Virgil was gay. Roman didn’t even know why he was doing what he was doing.

Remus was waiting for Roman at the main entrance, Remus held the keys in his hand, but Roman snatched them out of his palm and walked to their car himself. He muttered to himself about being stupid all the way there.

“Listen, Roman, I kno-” Remus tried.

“Just shut up and get in the car.” It was a quiet ride home. Remus kept looking at him as if trying to decide what to do about him, Roman pretended not to notice.

When the twins got home Roman went upstairs without a word to anyone. He checked his phone to see messages from Patton, Virgil, and Logan. He ignored them, throwing his phone to the floor as he laid in bed.

The doorbell rang. Roman ignored it, his parents would get it anyway. He heard the faint sound of bickering downstairs.

“This has nothing to do with Remus!” someone yelled downstairs. A few moments of silence and he heard someone coming upstairs. There was a knock at his door.

“Listen up Princey, you are going to open this door now or face the consequences,” It was Logan. Logan had showed up at his house to lecture him. “I know this has to do with the library this morning.”

“I don’t think-” Roman started but Logan opened the door.

“What is wrong Ro?”

“I- I don’t think you’ll really get it,” Roman muttered, Logan closed the door and sat next to Roman on his bed.

“I know you’re not homophobic Roman.”

“Well, I don’t think-”

“You need to stop thinking and start listening. You and I both know this isn’t about everyone else being gay, _you_ can’t muster up the courage to say you are.”

“What?! I- I really-”

“What? ‘You don’t think’? Roman, I’m not an idiot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Talk to me.”

Roman took a deep breath, “I- I don’t really- I can’t quite- I’m not sure how to word this.”

“Shoot.”

“I think I have a giant crush on Virgil, but I don’t want to. Gay isn’t a good think, Lo! My parents hate gays! I can’t be that. I need them to love me. I’m all they have really. They hate Remus and deserve a kid they can be proud of and who am I to mess that up?”

“You’re your own person Roman. What your parents think is not your responsibility. You deserve to be who you are.”

“Logan I-”

“ _I_ think I’m going to bring Remus in,” Logan stood up and began to walk towards the door.

“No! Wait- why?” Roman demanded sitting up.

“You two are brothers, and I think Remus can help.”

“I guess, but-” before Roman could finish Logan was gone. Not too long after Remus walked through his door.

“Boy problems?” Remus asked smirking.

“Remus if you’re just-” Roman began to object. 

Remus’s face shifted to a much more serious one, “No, Roman. I actually really wanna talk to ya’.”

“I know you’re only doing this ‘cause your ‘boyfriend’ told you to,” Roman said.

“Boyfriend? Not yet. Anyway, Roman I really do want to talk to you,” He took a deep breath. “When we were younger, I hated you. They loved you so much, I didn't stand a chance you know? Being the 'bad one' sucks, but you get used to it. No matter what I do they're gonna hate me, but you? You gotta constantly try to impress 'em. Well, ya’ think ya’ do, but not really. I mean, if they have a problem with who you are, that's on them. You shouldn't need to keep climbing that tower ‘cause you're never gonna get the princess. They’re always going to be changing their minds. No matter how hard you try, it’ll never be good enough. Maybe it’s time you let it go Elsa style, and accept that the only people whose opinions really matter are the people who are going to love you no strings attached.”

“I think I know what you’re saying, but it’s hard. I want to be okay with who I am, and I want Mom and Dad to love me, but I don’t think I can have it both ways.”  


“No rush, you can tell them whenever you feel you’re ready, but don’t take them too seriously.”

“I- Thank you Remus.”

“Oh- I-” Remus looked down. “You know I love you right?”

“I always thought you hated me..” Roman admitted.

“I thought the same about you, but I’m hoping I’m wrong.”

“You are Remus. You’re my brother and I love you too.” Roman promised looking up at Remus. Remus had the biggest grin he’d ever seen, he laughed and ran over to hug Roman.

“Is Logan still in the house?” Roman asked as they pulled away from the hug.

“Yeah, you wanna see me ask out that hot nerd?!” Remus asked jumping up and down excitedly.

“I’ll have to pass, that seems like a private thing, and I have some apologies to make,” Roman smiled.

Remus returned the gesture and walked out of Roman’s room. Roman looked fondly at the door.

  


_Everything was going to be okay._


End file.
